What Happened When I Forgot to be Myself

You might not know this, but since we’re all pals around here, here goes. 

I coach in an online business program. 

It isn’t even my program. 

It’s someone else’s. 

And I loved it. That is, until I didn’t.

When I was asked to be the lead coach in the program, I admit that I was flattered. My ego was stroked a bit, too. 

This person, who is the face and brand for the program, was trusting me to run the ship. From start to finish. 

As the months leading up to the program dwindled, I dove in head first to take a good look on how we could structure the program to get the clients even better results (hello, overachiever over here). 

I was jazzed to watch the clients in the program stretch and grow not only their businesses but themselves over the weeks and months. 

I made supporting them a top priority each and every day. 

At one point, there was a 3-day coaching marathon, which left me equally drained and exhilarated. 

And then, it happened. 

I fell out of love with the lead position. I fell out of love with the support I was providing. I fell out of love with all of it. 

So I took a step back. 

Nothing externally had changed. 

Crap, that means it was my internals that had shifted. 

I sat and journaled and got still and listened to truth-tellers and resisted forcing an answer. 

That’s when it smacked me… it wasn’t me showing up to generously support these big-hearted clients.  

It was my impression of the person who is the face of the program. She’s a dynamo and a real force. I’ve learned countless lessons, beyond business even, from her. Working with her was the catalyst for boatloads of positive change and growth in me.

It’s sort of like, “why wouldn’t I want to be her?!?”

But I can’t.

Which was a bummer because I respect the heck out of her. 

And it was equally liberating. 

I broke the shackles and freed myself and gave myself permission to show up as myself. Which means, not always knowing what to do or say in the moment and needing more time to sit with a question.

It’s like a layer of “me” has been peeled back to reveal a new deeper, more real, more genuine layer of Me. 

But let’s be clear about something, my insight doesn’t mean we can’t get inspiration from others. Nope. 

In fact, we need it. Connection is where our creativity and innovation lies. 

It’s when we start straying too far from ourselves towards the ways and words of other people that we hit a few speed bumps. 

So now I’m curious to know – When you strayed off course in the past, what did you learn on your way back on it?

Post below and let me know. I can’t wait to hear from you!


Photo by You X Ventures on Unsplash


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