I hear from many clients how they’ve taken this business course and are a member of that online community. They’ve spent so much money on materials and resources to help them grow their business.
And it’s typically followed up with thoughts about how smart they are and how they should be able to do it on their own.
They’re right about part of it – they are smart.
But I want to re-write the programming that you should be able to do it all. And if you’re not, you aren’t measuring up to what it means to be a successful business woman, partner, mother, friend.
When you see celebrities on their entertainment shows or in social media feeds or glossy magazines, rarely do they talk about all the help that they have. And I’m not just talking about in the professional sense, I mean on the personal side, too.
It’s like, “Heck, if Angelina Jolie can be a successful actress, director, UN ambassador, globe-trotting mother making millions while inspiring even more, then I certainly can grow my business to seven figures while making three meals a day and taking the dogs on walks four times a day and making cookies for the community bake sale…”
But this isn’t an apples-to-apples comparison. Because when we see those celebrities in magazines, like in the “Celebrities – they’re just like us” sections, and it shows Sarah Jessica Parker pushing a cart out of Target, we don’t get the full story.
What you rarely see is the fact that these successful people have likely dozens of people helping them out.
So while SJP is making a Target run, someone else is grabbing her Starbucks and managing her finances and booking her travel and responding to event requests and fielding first pass read-throughs for new projects
Before you come back at me with a “Yeah but they’re celebrities, so they can afford to hire people to help them with whatever they need.” I want to tell you that what they’re doing is a choice.
They’re choosing to focus solely on whatever it is in that moment, whether it’s their career, or their family, or their next big project, while someone else handles the other details of their professional and personal lives.
And choosing to rely on support is probably exactly what allowed them to keep upping their success game. It’s what keeps them on their path, and maybe that’s to win an Oscar or have a BIG career or help women in third world countries achieve financial independence.
So I want to peel back the curtain and share with you exactly what it looks in my world.
When people ask me, “How do you do it ALL?”
My answer is always the same, “I DON’T.”
Yes, I was the person who put in the time and energy and tears to launch my business with a specific vision.
But I also raised my hand and asked for help. A LOT.
Which was extremely difficult.
Because I thought if I had help, it meant I wasn’t actually smart enough. Or driven enough. Or have enough grit. Or that I was destined to fail and never recover.
By taking everything on as my sole responsibility to handle and fix, I was burning out.
I worked with a coach on this specific idea of asking for help and not needing to do it all myself, so that I didn’t do it all.
I want to be real with you about it because so many women who are further along on their business journey aren’t always, which can be a grand set-up for a shame spiral.
So here’s exactly who I ask for support from and delegate items to in my life.
First and most important is my husband, who’s super supportive of my career, my vision for what I see not only in my life, but in our lives. When I travel across the country to see clients, he steps up and take full care of our dogs and our home. He’ll do our grocery shopping during his lunch time, because he knows that although I could go to the grocery store myself, it can be a bit of an inconvenience brainspace-wise.
My dogs are a huge release for me… they just don’t realize it. Knowing that they’re there to cuddle with and give unconditional love is huge. So without knowing it, they’re a huge part of my support system. They’re my rejuvenation buddies.
And while I’m talking about re-energizing, there’s my little niece, Peyton, who doesn’t realize it either. She has the best timed videos that never fails to make me cry while laughing. Talk about bringing some levity to life.
My family, who is very supportive around what I do in my professional life, even if it might not always make the most sense.
And I must give a shoutout to my sister, who’s my go-to for all things related to event jewelry, makeup and hair, like giant family weddings. I’m very comfortable in my daytime look, but when it comes time to fancy it up, I’m lost. You could call her my event stylist.
Then in our household, we have a lovely woman clean our home twice a month, a landscaper to handle all the lawn maintenance, a dog sitter, who takes our dogs for walks when we’re gone for extended times throughout the day and stays overnight in our home when we travel.
There’s also my rockstar hairdresser, who’s been responsible for my hairstyles for almost a decade. You see, I used to dye my hair from a box you’d buy at the drug store because it was easier and cheaper. Until one day, I realized it really wasn’t easier even if it was a bit less expensive.
I go to yoga 3-4 times a week at a local studio, versus practicing at home. Why? Well, I’ve fallen in love with hot yoga and having a 100 degree room at home at the ready isn’t too practical. But I also love that the lovely instructor just tells me what to do for an hour and I follow her flow.
Over the last five and a half years, I’ve hired almost a dozen coaches to help get me where I am today – a life coach, leadership coach, business coaches, communications coach, copy coach. I’ve worked with them all.
Plus, now I have a business mentor, a very small squad of business besties to rely on and lean on in times when I need a gut check or to vent to people that understand what it’s like to run their own business. And they can turn to me for support, too.
I also have an assistant, who helps to put out this very blog post. She’s incredible and has my back through each step in my business.
On client teams, I don’t go it alone there either. We have assistants and designers and coaches. None are true solo shops even when my client’s name is the brand.
So there you have it. The real REAL on who’s really helping this whole ship chug along – over two dozen big-hearted, supportive individuals!
And you do too.
You have gobs of help around you. All you need to do is pause, look around and ask for what you need.
Take five minutes right now to write down all the people who are already supporting you, whether in your professional life, personal life or both.
Then, take another five minutes to reach out to at least two of these amazing humans and let me know how much their help means to you.
Because what you appreciate appreciates.
Photo by Perry Grone on Unsplash