Get Off the Compare + Despair Train

Do you compare yourself to other business owners?

Those who seem to have it all – they’re rockin’ it on social media, have a 6-month waitlist for private clients, seem to sellout every program before it even launches, oh… and they have time to pick up their kids from school, have a healthy dinner on the table and get their nails done every other week.

And then you get down on yourself in a compare and despair cyclone of disdain and inaction because you don’t meet their standard.

We’ve all been there.

But what if I told you that there’s one simple tweak to your mindset that would allow you to not even step into that cycle of shame?

Oh yeah, it’s been the secret sauce for me for quite some time now.

Instead of looking around at what others are doing and using that to pass judgment on yourself, what if you actually look to YOURSELF.

On a morning, recently, I had back-to-back-to-back appointments. And being an introvert, I was literally running on fumes by the final minutes of appointment #3. My energy was zapped. It was only 10:30am. The rest of my day still had to happen.

I could have so easily let this stop my day right in its tracks, going down in history as one of the most unproductive days ever.

But I didn’t – here’s where the magic happened…

My old default setting would have been to think of another business owner I know, about how she confidently and enthusiastically handles five appointments in a row and still has the mental energy for our weekly status call. I would have sent myself into a spiral of contempt, complete with loads of negative self-talk about how I’ll never be a successful business owner if I can’t “keep up the pace”. (Does this sound familiar?)

Rather than walk down that gloom and doom path, I used my new default setting, where I think about myself in the context of what just happened and get really honest. I reflected inward to see that what just occurred, in this case the giant energy drain, is really part of what happens when and how I recover from multiple meetings in a row.

It doesn’t mean I won’t ever have a successful business or, worse, that I’m a failure.

It really means I need to have stronger boundaries around my time and not schedule appointments one right after the other.

See how that small mental flip took me out of a bleak future where my business fails and actually provided clues on how I could do things differently to ensure I show up as my best self.

And for times when I need a little help propping myself up and finding perspective, I keep a running list of accomplishments, events and comebacks I’m most proud of (on my favorite cross-device app, Apple Notes, of course).

Now, tell me, where is compare and despair making an appearance in your world? How can you integrate this mental tweak to thinking?

Photo by Jens Lindner on Unsplash


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