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Why Do We Resist What We Ultimately Crave?

Each day, I find myself resisting.

I feel resistance when I think about going to the gym or not eating that chocolate covered almond or spending a luxuriously, lazy 20 minutes reading.

Instead of doing, I escape through busywork or tv or Facebook.

I feel the hesitation and instead of letting the feeling pass through me, I avoid it like … fill in the blank with that one thing you avoid more than anything – Aunt Velma’s fruit cake at Christmas, your neighbor’s friendly suggestion to use their son to mow your lawn.

Three things I resist BIG TIME:

Writing

Yep, I resist putting pen to paper (or rather fingers to keys) all the time.

And yet, I love to write. Since I was a little girl with a face full of freckles, I’ve enjoyed expressing myself through the written word.

But I know that once you write it and publish it, it is no longer yours and you release it into the world.

Oh, scary. And completely freeing at the same time.

Connection

I love my husband and I’m all about connection in deep, intimate relationships. What I’m talking about is connection with friends, peers, colleagues, associates.

As a work-from-home entrepreneur, I need a reason to leave the house for more than a walk through the neighborhood with Big Dog and Little Dog. There’s always something on my to-do list that feels ultra-urgent and tells me I cannot step away from the house for more than one hour.

So I resist setting up coffee dates with friends and other business owners. When I get back from a meeting, I never feel like I should have known better about scheduling that appointment. No, I’m always super happy to have spent time with that friend, catching up on her new business plan.

Beauty

I totally resist inviting beauty into my home. I love fresh cut flowers, but only have them around when The Photographer surprises me on his latest trip to Trader Joe’s.

Otherwise, I always walk right past the flower section or decide not to spend time rearranging the books in our living room or put out the Fall decorations or any other small, but simple task that would bring beauty into my world.

Why do we feel a halt when it comes time to do these things we ultimately love?

I’ve noticed that I resist the things that allow me to be seen, to be vulnerable, to me truly me in front of the world.

In talking with others, they share the same fear.

We all want to feel that link to each other, to this world and to do that we need to allow ourselves to show up as our authentic selves. We need to actively say ‘yes’ to that which we know we want for our lives, our businesses, our souls.

What do you resist all the time that you actually love?  How can you cultivate more of that in your life so that you say ‘yes’ instead of ‘I don’t want to’?

2 Comments on “Why Do We Resist What We Ultimately Crave?

Mike Gomez
October 6, 2016 at 9:47 am

Thanks for the lovely reminder and advice to do those things that we’re resisting. We all tend to miss out on so many beautiful experiences because of resistance.

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Lindsay Gomez
October 6, 2016 at 10:41 am

Thank you for sharing! 🙂

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